Gave it a listen, and i'll be a little constructive in the comments

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First of all, I'll explain the defination of remix and rework.
In a
rework: You maintain the same mix of the song and give it some more additional productions into it (ie: Percussion and/or Synths).
In a
remix: You ecompletely make the track yours by making new melodies / basslines / percussions with maybe a different structure as well. Most of the time, the melody is taken from the original mix and if you have to .. you either tweak the melody at parts or you keep it.
Hope that sorta sums it up. As of listening to the track, I see that you've done a 'Rework' ... since you kept the original the same and just added percussion.
Secondly, concerning the track itself.
Try keeping the beats in sync with the track as well as the original beats itself, also ... keep track of the bars. Ejay isn't a very good production tool ... honestly. Try going for "Propeller Reason" or "Fruity Loops". Its gonna be really tough to start off with ... but no one said it'll be easy

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Everyone starts off somewhere

... keep at it.